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Year 2009, didn't update anymore for half a year.
2009 isn't a great year for me.
A year which I am learning to juggle my things well in my life.
A year which I get to see people around me clearer.
A year which require me to work extremely hard.
I hate to make decision in my life, I don't know if I will make the right choice but seriously I hope so.

Two of my best friends, told me I deserve to fail. Although I know that the fact and I am aware of it, but still is heart breaking when you hear it from your closer friends.
I don't know how long I can hang on but I trying my best.
People hate me because some think I care only about my result and so on...
But nobody know what my real reason that make me work so hard. or perhape some of you guys know.
So, before judging people think carefully.
Not everyone will have a perfect life, perfect family. Everyone wish that.

Last Sunday, it father day. In year 04 onwards, I do not know what is father day anymore. The good image of a dad like what I used to thought about him is gone. I do envy that some of my other friend dad is far better then me. or at least, when their dad did something wrong, at least they admit it and trying their best to save the family. However, my dad, he don't think he is wrong at times, and I can't seem what family is to him. I am blessed to have my mother. She my only motivation for my life to move on now. Even though, she scolded, she nagged, she irritating at times, but I do cherish her like I never did, be it now or in future.

I am sick and tired hearing those stuffs of our class. I just want to complete my polytechnic really soon. I take things too easy already, never did I expect poly life is likedat. I thought it will be more fun than secondary school life. But is all conflicts, projects and more more. I should take Kenneth's warning and be alert. & somehow, i got to agree with him
In my life, I don't have perfect result, perfect as in not all As but I do face setbacks especially my O level english, my poly grades. I do cry over result like mad despite putting plenty of effort in.

My birthday is reaching in less than 24 hours, but I do not see any joy to it. I really feel like throwing everything down, and went missing. If I ever went MIA, don't bother looking for me. I know some of my friend really worry about me and really care for me from their bottom of their heart. I am glad that I have you guys to support me, but I know I need to face this myself and able to handle it myself. So just, leave me alone.

Labels: year 09

日子一天一天过去，我也渐渐长大。每一次经历的挫折与伤痛，也许比过去更深、更重，但跌倒后能够努力爬起来，继续走下去，让我觉得自己比以前坚强，勇敢。我把每一次的伤心难过当成是人生交给自己的一份随堂测验，考得好不好，就要看自己回弹的能力够不够强了。与其为没有发生过的事情而伤心，不如把精力集中在生命里美好的事物，为真挚的友情与爱雀跃喝彩。。我不能再沉沦于过去的回忆。不是每一个梦想都可以实现，这是人生。我必须接受。过了这么多年，浪费了这么多时间，是时候改变了。不要再做以前幼稚，固执，天真的我。不要再风花雪月了。我要长大。

Labels: year 09

Alright, I know I didn't update for 4 days already.
So, I am here now to update my blog.
So dear friends, stop saying that I didn't update my blog. =D

Mr Philip Koh is so 'good' ahhh. He make me work 4 days straight in order to have my 5 days straight OFF days. It so boring to go and work everyday lah! and sick of those political issue especially Beng Hwa aunty has left.
& so today is my last day of work for the week.
Going to have my OFF days till next thursday!
& going to work 4 days straight. damn it.
Thanksss ahhh. I bet he will make me stayed back with him to do stock take lahhh!

I have 4 projects on hand now. Need to be done before school start.
But it seem like none of them is starting now yet.
Nobody even asked about it.
& my CATS group, some were away to holiday for 10days! damnnn carlson.
( i don't think he will read my blog lahh).
So dear classmate, let start our project soon okayy? Especially HSM.

There so many things I wanted to type about but still whenever I want to type here.
My mind went blank.
Forget it, going to pack my camp stuff for tml.
& going to meet sharon and clar before my work late..
I think my life is very meaningless lah.

byeeee.

Labels: meaningless.

Few weeks ago until now, had a really bad weeks.
CT week, Projects, Assigment.. is killing me.
I am extremely worry for my IDS theory, CAD, CATS and theeeee blooddyyyy ecooonnn.
I'm worry, scare for my CATS.
Simply because my demanding CATS teacher has failed 12 people for assigments one. & worst, my class has only 20 people and the assigments one consist of 50% .
What more irritating is, she refused to let us know our grade.
Though I know, Multi Wonder has done their best in this project and wants to make the presentation the best. Despite that, almost everyone is my group slept late. & I and Carlson stay up late till 4am for the video! & we have gym lesson the next day at 8am sharp.
I am very delighted and relieved after the presentation with Multi Wonder. However, our dearrrrrrrr demanding teacher is soooo selfish with the marks. Screw her! & tell me how am I suppose not to be worry about it? unless you don't care. then too bad, because I do care.

That only one module lah, IDS theory.
Ha. That bad. I always thought that for IDS paper, I will failed in the drawing part.
But I dunno why and how, during my IDS paper.
I can draw the studyroom easily. even though is not perfect in the sense of dimension all those lah. But still the structure is there at least. However, my theroy is horrible. Lots of rubbish and alot of things I just try la try la. Especially for MCQ. Wha! but i really did try to study...

Autocad was ok lah, expected that I cant do much either. So, only able to do whatever I can lah.
The rest leave it to god.
Econ paper was a killer to me. I went overnight studying econ with Alvin and Galvin at airport on wed night. Thursday morning I went to meet my friends to study econ in the library. Friday afternoon, went bishan CC to study econ with damain, alicia , yc. YET YET, I dun really know what the question wants lah! or am I answering out of point. WAAAAA , I super super worry.
No, should be worry until sio. OR maybe I am scare.

Enough of CT, it driving me crazy the more I think about. & of course, how much I regret.
After econ paper ytd, went to had lunch at nyny with polymate. & to buy some x'mas present. Met up with dearest Sharon and Clarissa for dinner and caught a movie - Wildchild. Nice, worth watching lah.

Ohya, for my pm.. I am not scolding someone on the behalf of my friend. I am very disappointed in him. From your attitude you gave , we know you don't mean what you say. I believe her life will be better without you. trust me for that, don't worry.

Sunday morning, was suppose to work from 8am to 9pm.
The moment I reach Ikea and saw Jas, she told me a news that stunned me for a minute at least.

It take 9months for a life to be form or create & bring to the earth.
It take 1 year at least, to make a baby that has a life in it to walk.
It take 2-3years for a baby to talk properly.
It take at least 17 years to finish your education.
&&
It take at least 10 over years to get marriage and have a family.
But it only take a second to bring a person from earth to heaven.
It took one second or less to take a life away.
It super hurtful.

& yes, Benghwa aunty has passed away on Sat night.
She is the BESSTTBESSTTBESSTTTT aunty I ever met in Ikea.
Whenever I kana bully by other cashier when I am new, she will stand up and protect me.
Whenever I doing night shift with her, & i feeling hungry.. She will run to gaint to buy bread for me.
She is pretty and nice. =D
But I bet I ever had the chance to see her smile. I miss her and I really do.
Though, both of us is unrelated in term of blood, but your existence her put a scar or mark in my heart and brain. I will not forget you. I promise I will not. Rest well =((((((((

Alright, gtg sleep yeaa/
Morning tml again. =(((

Labels: bad week

I'm blogging on the behalf of our SWEET BAOHUI BIG-SISTER (she force ask me to blog)
Under HER NICE offer, I decide to help her blog despite she have officially declared that she doesn't want to grab me & my "faithful blogger award".
ANW, I personally feel that her blog is almost dead, but still struggle to survive. Unlike KL's, probably can burn into the ashes. :D

Ok. That's all the crap ideas. Don't bother.
This is HER Life today:D
8am // probably reach the classroom for PAC. Ok. I saw her together with YC and JH. JH is in her FBT again. It's a habit to see her in FBT. If she didn't wear it, I feel uneasy. Ok. I believe most people do. Mr Tan still ballet again. But this time round, he didn't turn 180 degrees, only 90.

10am// MES. Colouring time. Colour all the stupid pipes with, which i also don't know why i need to colour. Today's sun wasn't that warm, it's BLOODY HOT. STUFFY. Making me baohui to perspire. (people don't sweat, they perspire) And then, I hide behind the rice cooker-look-alike thing with ATIKAH, so the rest IDK.

12pm// SIM MEGABITE TODAY. She ordered western food with Manling. I have no idea what they are eating cux I feel too lethagic. Tired. TIRED.
But I remember got chicken chop, rice, whipped potato, something like that. She drink ice lemon tea (i think?).

1pm// IDS. I tagged her blog and asked her to blog more.
AND NOW i'm doing in the behalf of her.
&she just went to the toilet with JH.

--
I think that's all.
Helping her to blog makes me feel like I'm a stalker.

*GASPED*

Finally, I'm here to update.
It been almost 1 month for not blogging. Sigh.
Seriously, I gave up the " Faithful Blogger" award.

I have been rushing for my assigment, project deadlines, tutorial etc.
Been reaching super duper late.
But everything worth it.
Thanks KL&CY for the video for HSM.
Thanks everyone in my CATS group to contribute sooooo much.

I don't care, if my group will get the higest for CATS
I don't care if the teacher like it anot.
Because, the enviroment during my presentation, tell me whatever my group did.
It all worth it. =D Effort counts.

Next week with be common test period.
& the bad thing is I haven start studying.
I am super duper ultra worry for my IDS.
sighhhh...

Labels: workload

Have been missing for not blogging for few weeks.
& even Koon Long had given me an award !

School life has been fine. It just that this semester work load is heavier than before.
Or maybe is too tough for me to handle. especially when it come to drawing.

I am feeling bored, restless, and my mind is wandering around again.
Though I know there many things for me to do, but I just can't find the mood yet.
I can't wait for holidays..
I want to run. Run far away for this hectic world.. Or maybe I need a break.
Common test timetable is out, and it seriously suck at it. Cos why we have to use our saturday for exam? It a waste of my time. I bet Philip will kill meeeeee!!


Few week ago, I have trouble in my time management. I have to spend my weekend at ikea. My friends and tuition. So is really tiring, till I have to sleep in class or during the journey to school. I was really feeling unsure about my decision if I should leave ikea anot.
Plus wirrdah also leave ikea..
But when I think back about those memories, people, and even what I have learn there..
My mind seem changing again. If I leave, I will miss Jasmina, Cathi, Zarifah, Sok Ying aunty, Xiao fang aunty, Philip, Lina, Suhana, Shirley, Wan Ting, Choon Hua aunty, Angeline, Connie, Ai guat, Keith, Johnson, Ai Ping, Ai teen aunty, Dolly aunty.. and many many more people in ikea.
Of course, not forgetting those who have leave ikea ler. Like.. Yonghao, Aaron, Jinbao, Aunty Eve, Wirrdah, Beng hwa aunty..

Another few more weeks, I will be in ikea for one year. 365 days. It neither long or short, but is a great experience.
I really can't afford to lose all those people that have been taking care of me for this few months. So I decided to give up Clement. Though I am very upset about his result and I have to take up alot of courage to give up this tuition. I will miss his laughter to make me smile..
I knew my friends or family will never understand how I feel. Cause you guys are not me..


I hope I have made the right decision.

Life is really short. I don't know what happen to my surrounding friends this year. My god brother' father has passed away & now Cathi told me, one of my ex collegue that I use to be very close. Her dad also passed away.. I am lost and speechless at that moment I heard this news.
Cause it happen too sudden.



I really feel like typing and not stopping.
Simply because I have too much to say already.
I wish I could.
I rather spend my time typing here than doing anything else.
Just feel very restless now.
I think I have lost my motivation yet again.
What happen to my dream of uni or aims?
Where did the feeling or determination go?
I think I have lost my soul already.
Why am I always have second thought?
I feel like a idiot. pure idiot.
Feeling super discourage.

Later after blogging, I need to go back to doing my CATS.
Common test is going to start around 1 mth later.
=(((((((


Ohyaaaa, one last thing.
If speaking out what I feel is something wrong. Then simply ask the police come and catch me.
I only say out the reason why I made the decision that time. She is eighteen already, she can make her own decision.. She want a better future and I want her future to be good because she is my friends. Stop being selfish and think of yourself. She have her life and she made her own decision during that time. If she is someone that easily influence, I believe she will leave you long time ago. Because I will never able to be like her , giving you chance again and again. So naive yet silly..
So you, shut up.

Some photos that suppose to post last month.
Sorry for being late.







































update soon again..

Labels: lost soul

Labels: boring week

Bless me
▪ him again :/
▪ Pass O level english
▪ University =)
▪ Shopping spree!
▪ New mobilephone
▪ treatment
▪ good grade in ploy
▪ a wonderful birthday celebration
▪ make new friendsss!
▪ perm hair!
▪ overseas trip with friendsssss
▪ Slimmerrrrr!!!
▪ World peace